The Bill That Makes Me Want To Plank

Much to my dismay, I came across the issue of the Anti- Planking Act of 2011 this afternoon via Twitter. I made a bit of reading in the filer's website, that of Representative Winnie Castelo from Quezon City, Philippines. The proposed bill is actually:



AN  ACT PRESCRIBING A UNIVERSAL CODE OF STUDENT CONDUCT WHEREBY PLANKING BY A STUDENT OR GROUP OF STUDENTS DURING STREET RALLIES OR SIMILAR PROTEST ACTIONS AS A FORM OF REDRESS OF GRIEVANCE BE STRICTLY PROHIBITED AND APPLYING APPROPRIATE SANCTIONS THEREOF.  

--- 20th of September 2011

Fine. I understand the safety risks and issues that rallyists must take heed of.


I am also not an advocate nor a practitioner of that weird act called planking and then doing it anywhere I want to--- unless I'd be able to lose a lot of calories by planking the Pilates- way.


But let me just say that filing this bill and further implementation with the use of Pinoy tax money is not even rational. Why so? I feel that there are far more relevant issues other than planking, owling, koalaing, or batmanning that should be prioritized when passing a bill. 


But if I were to melt myself on the hullabaloo of this mediocrity, why then is Mr. Castelo after the students alone? Taking the recent transport strike incident aside, how sure is he that older rallyists are not capable of planking? It won't be safe for, 'say my fifty-ish year old folks to plank around as well during their protests! If he is to talk about maturity, this bill should not marginalize groups of people, and to make the world a better place, the bill shouldn't even be proposed at all. Moreover, it should be renamed as the ANTI- IMBECILE BILL OF 2011 which will be applicable to those who repress self- expression of others and for those who express themselves in a planking manner during rallies.


For strike plankers, come on! Why planking? Justify how relevant this is when promoting your cause. With the mindset of some of our politicians, do you expect them to have the luxury of time or even the gift of analytical thinking to give some sense of what you mean as your beautiful faces are flat on the ground?


Safety is a measure that should be done at all times and at all costs. I totally have nothing against it. Now, planking is not as deadly as the abuse of human rights and the deprivation of basic needs.


If this is how shallow and stupid some of our leaders' ideas could get, aside from their corruption capabilities, then I present you three hilarious bills that the dumb ones could perhaps propose to waste the public's time among all other resources. Otherwise, these may give you a good giggle if you have been a victim:


1) Anti- EMO Facebook Status Updates: Negativity and bad vibes have a domino- effect!


2) Anti- DOTA: Guys have lesser time to spend with their partners by playing this game. Relationships are at stake. I couldn't relate to this though, because I might end up playing it. IMBA!

3) Anti- Big Bow Headbands: Ladies, I should be honest in telling you that this kind of style does not make you cute at all.


The politicians are a direct reflection of the decisions of the people who voted for them. There's still time, however, to avoid supporting these kinds of crap. Finally, I think that our country does not deserve corrupt idiots in power. It's really pathetic and embarrassing for our children.

Oh yeah. It's planking time!